Its a weird pet peeve of mine, but for some reason I am really hyper-critical of sports broadcasters. Its probably because I'm not nearly fast, strong, ambitious or tall enough to be an actual sports athlete - yet I love sports. Because of this I feel like I turn my venom towards the broadcasters, because if they're terrible I honestly feel I could do a better job than them.But that's neither here or there. I'm here to talk about Howie Long up there.
Seems like a decent enough guy. And he's got a successful look to him. The crewcut and muscles show i'm an athlete, but the glasses show I'm smart and can talk about stuff too!
Don't be fooled. Not only is he a very poor, uneducated, cookie cutter NFL fotball analyst (subjective) he's also kind of an asshole. (Objective.)
In addition to his duties as an NFL analyst he also does various commercials where he comes off like a pompous jackass. Don't believe me? Still think he seems like a nice athlete with glasses? As they say, the proof is in the pudding (by the way, what the hell does that phrase even mean? When has the proof for anything ever been in pudding? Bah.)
But back to the commercial: Leave the guy alone Howie! Maybe that was the only truck he could afford. We're not all former NFL players with cushy studio jobs whose sons are currently in the NFL also. Don't be a smug prick to a total stranger.
I hope Howie Long somehow, someway reads this. He seems like the type of guy who would 'roid rage out, fly here and pummel me. Why would that be good? I could use that settlement money to improve on this glorious website! May as well instigate him more.
Screw you Howie! Howie your crew-cut is dated and weird! Howie! Hooooowie! Hoooooooooowwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiieeee!!!!!!
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Plus, in that photo, his suit and tie combo are a TERRIBLE match. Yellow with red circles paired with gray pinstripe?
ReplyDeleteYeah...jerk doesn't even know how to dress properly.
ReplyDeleteThe yellow with red circles paired with gray pinstripe was SOOOOO September 2006. (What?)
I have many other thoughts on NFL studio hosts, but that's niether here nor there. I'll get to them all eventually.
Excellent point Colleen. There are just too many patterns... the man seems confused. Or blind.
ReplyDeleteI would agree with your criticism about him and his son playing in the NFL, but that would also apply to my childhood favorite Phil Simms... wait is Chris Simms still playing in the NFL?
..I think his spleen died. Or something.
ReplyDeleteBut I don't take issue with famous players of yesteryear's children playing in the NFL, it's kind of cool.
But he comes off like a total jerk in that chevy commercial mocking a total stranger for the truck he has. My point is - we all don't have millionare kids.