Cat People

So I have this friend, and she really loves cats.

At least once a month i've been getting texts from her saying, "Can you rate cat videos?" "Can you rate cats?" etc. etc.

She's even gone out of her way to do the research for me, providing me videos like this: Little Kitty, Big Meow.

She also gave me the Stalker Cat video.

Again, the constant ball-busting i've received has left me no choice but to go ahead and give it a rate.

Only i'm not going to do a rate on cat videos. Or cats in general. Rather, I chose to rate "Cat People."

See, i've always had dogs. At home, even at college. There were always dogs running around my house. I've never lived in a house with a cat full time. The only thing that came close to being a pet cat for me was this boarderline stray cat that used to come by my house down in Bloomington Indiana. My roomates and I would occasionally have bond-fires/smoke cigars/drink in our backyard, and for some reason everytime we had one of these nights this black cat would show up uninvited and hang out with us. I don't know why, but this cat loved jumping on top of my car and watching us. Hence, we gave him the name "Fiddler." (Cause he was always on the roof.) I gave Fiddler a ton of shit, partly because I KNOW he could understand me when I would say, "Don't you jump on my car Fiddler." Yet he would still look me straight in the eyes, look back at my car, then jump on the roof anyways.

That's the thing with cats, most of them have a "I don't give a fuck," attitude about them. And as much as I gave Fiddler shit, I always kind of liked the little bastard. I think I could say the same for most cats i've met - I like to give them shit for being creepy, but ultimately am somewhat fond of them.

Either way, while i'm much more of a dog person, and would be more inclined to buy a dog than a cat, I do still like cats. They're sort of cute in a creepy kind of way, (which is how 90 percent of the women Rizzo has dated chose to describe him.)

Even though I like cats, they are not underrated. And even though I think these videos are funny, they are not underrated. While the two videos i've linked are funny, each have a crazy amount of hits, hence, they aren't over or under rated.

Now to the rate in question: Cat People.

My friend who demanded this rate...we'lljust call her M. Pukala so she's annonymous. Maybe that's too obvious, let's go with Megan P. (that picture up there is actually her, those of you that know her and haven't seen her since Winter time, that's what she looks like now. That's what happens when all you do is smoke non-filtered cigarettes and drink scotch all the time.)

Anyways, Megan, like all cat people can typically fall under three types of people: Jackass, Senile, or Sociopath (Megan happens to fall under all three somehow.)

Jackass

Watch those youtube clips again. That poor kitten was shoved in a boot by its master and then videotaped. What the hell? Then stalker cat, at the end of the video it gets hit by the camera and chased off. That's just downright cruel. Not to mention when Cat People learn guys like me are more of dog people they naturally assume we're just too dumb to properly understand the subtleties and beauty of cats. "Oooh, well my cat is very well behaved, and very playfull, blah blah blah." Etc. etc.

Senile

Crazy Cat lady. 'Nuff said.

Sociopath

If movies have taught us anything, its that sociopathic serial killers like cats. The badguy from the early Bond movies had a cat. The badguy from inspector Gadget had a cat. Ted Bundy had cats (I think.) Anyways, if you ever want to make yourself look slightly more evil, get a cat. Train it to hiss at otherwise innocent things like babies or girlscouts. Have it sitting on your lap when you're making a business negotiation. It'll work, people will find you more evil.

See I always had it in my head that I didn't like cats. I couldn't really come up with a reason why, it may have been fundamental as, "well i'm a dog person." Maybe I got scratched as a kid. I don't know, but I've always had this pre-conceived notion that I didn't like them.

It took me putting my thoughts down on print that made me realize something: I do like cats. They're cool animals. But like Duke Basketball, New York Yankee Baseball, Hard-core Republicans or Hard-Core Democrats and anyone that went to Notre Dame....its not the instituations/teams/animal that I don't like in and of itself - its the people that support them.

Cat people - Get over yourself, (and if I ever wind up murdered, everyone who reads this site will know that some psychopath cat owner was the one who did me in.)

VERDICT:

OVERRATED