Question: What do you get when you combine the following ingredients?
Sugar, Enriched Flour, Riboflavin, High Oleic canola Oil And/Or Palm Oil And/Or Canola Oil And/Or Soybean Oil, Cocoa, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Cornstarch, Leavening, Salt, Soy Lecithin, Vanillin, Chocolate.
Answer: A nutritionist's worst nightmare.
No. That is incorrect. Actually, it probably is correct. But that's besides the point. The point is that those ingredients form the backbone of one of the greatest snack foods this country has ever seen.
Yes my friends, I'm talking about the Oreo Cookie. Manufactured by Nabisco, a division of Kraft Foods, these delicious chocolate sandwich cookies have been part of the American lexicon for almost a century, and it's easy to see why.
They are fucking addicting.
I don't know if it's the riboflavin, the salt, or the soy lecithin, but pair one of these little bad boys is with a tall, cool glass of milk and I dare you to eat just one. I dare you.
I really wanted an Oreo when I got home tonight. I went to the cabinet. They were gone. I opened the trash. The sleeve was inside. I took the sleeve out of the trash. There was one Oreo left. I threw it back out. Not because it had been in the trash, oh no. No, I threw it out because I knew that if I ate just one Oreo, I would desire another.
And another. And another.
Oreo after delicious Oreo, perfectly saturated with creamy, farm-fresh milk.
Damn you Oreo's, damn you all to hell.
VERDICT:
UNDERRATED
UNDERRATED
P.S. I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean that, I just yell sometimes, because I get so scared. Scared of not having enough Oreos. Why don't ya just come back into the cabinet honey? I'll give you the ol' smoochie smoochie, kissy wissy.
I'm a little disturbed...
ReplyDeleteI gotta disagree though. You can't eat Oreo's without Milk. I thik that makes them overrated.
Chips Ahoy on the other hand are delectible with or without milk. (Milk is preferred...but still)
And Riboflavin is the addicting part.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely.
"No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it's going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it's always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt." - This quote describes how you feel about oreos, they are terrible and people won't stop saying how much they love them, if they are one of the few who believe this. This is why they are completely overrated.
ReplyDeleteI love it when Bluth pulls these random awesome quotes out.
ReplyDeleteNicely played sir.
My fave are the Trader Joe Christmas oreos that have crushed up candy canes in them- but they come out for a limited time only- mmmm, and create such a frenzy it is insane! Seriously, people wait out the shipment day after day.
ReplyDeleteOh and whoever that Bluth is- well done. I initially thought you were just some religious spammer who happened upon the sight and wanted to get in your two cents.
ReplyDelete