Look at that. Aside from loved ones, my dog, and maybe SUNDRESSES nothing can put a smile on my face faster than a brand new, rock hard, 16 inch softball.
For the small contingent out there in the East Coast (and maybe some of you out there on the west coast) 16 inch softball is a game only played in small parts of the midwest.
While the rest of the country foolishly plays 12 inch with gloves, us men play the hardcore, gloveless, finger smashing brand.
Is it better than recreational 12 inch softball? Of course.
It's hard to describe unless you've played both (which I have) but there's something particularly rewarding about succeeding in 16 inch. The power hitters are POWER hitters. You can't get a cheap bomb with a 16 inch ball. The slap hits are awesome, because it takes real skill to slap a 16 inch ball. The great catches are earned. You can't stick your glove out and hope for the best. You have to get your paws on that giant fucking ball and haul it in all on your own. Knowing full well if you're off by even a fraction of an inch you'll need surgury on your pinky.
Your not playing baseball, but that's not the point. You're on a baseball diamond. Playing a game. A fun game. A game that's yours and yours alone.
The greatest appeal I see to 12 inch is that you still get to have a glove and pretend that you're a baseball player. Grow up 12 inch softball players. You're no longer good enough to play baseball. Get over it. Play a completely different sport where the ball is huge.
Is it more popular than 12 inch softball? Of course not.
People in the midwest are the only ones smart enough to realize the glory of 16 inch softball. The joy of showing up to the field with nothing but your cigarettes or chew and risking the well being of all your fingers. The rest of the country is still in never never land with their little gloves and lost dreams of being a New York Yankee. Or something.
I would mention that playing 16 inch is also the perfect excuse to drink on a weekday, but I guess 12 inch can make the same argument. BUT, 16 inch bats and softballs are made by a company called "De Beer."
Like loved ones, my dog and the occasional sundress - not much else can bring me as much joy and sadness...ecstasy and anger....smiles and frowns. Nothing spells summer more than taking the field for a 55 minute, 7 inning war of 16 inch softball.
(I know Rizzo is with me on this one.)
VERDICT:
UNDERRATED
I almost got into a fight with someone in Milwaukee about 16 vs 12 inch softball..... God, hate 12 inch softball
ReplyDeletethat's too bad. Milwaukee seems like it could be a really sweet 16 inch softball state.
ReplyDeleteThey love beer and being lazy just as much as the rest of the midwest.
You'd think a common love for recreational sports, and mutual boredom, would lead us to both love 16 inch.
did you know that they play 16 inch softball in northern wisconsin and u.p. michigan also? WITH FUCKING GLOVES! big gloves with fingers longer than john holmes' fucking pants-dragon. pussies.
ReplyDeleteThats lame Scotty...If you're playing 16 inch you play no gloves or you don't play at all.
ReplyDeleteIts funny how Chicagoans are purists for the strangest stuff.